Porque quiero explayarme sobre el papel...

Y quiero extender mis alas al infinito, y llenar de oscuridad mi existencia, y demostrar que mi fuerza es mi mente, y que mi mente es infinita... Aquí esta un poco en español para que disfruten de mi poesía...

Esta historia está en un post independiente. Búsquenla allí ^__^

Porque como yo, mi vida gira en torno a ti, y como tu, tu vida sólo soy yo.

Feliz Death Day a Mí!

From Darkness to Darkness

How will I forget you? How will I?...
If I can only think of you, all I do is you, all don't do is you, all I love is you, and all I wanted, had, lost and deserved has been you...

Oh you my dear, why won’t you grant me your heart?

Grant it to me, I’ll only crush it

Grant it to me, my love will fill it

Bathe it my love will, bathe it in liquid flames

And your sadness will be washed away

Forever and ever, washed of life will your sadness be

Cleansed by fire, cleansed by blood

My love cleanse life will

From your gut, from your soul

My love cleanse of life will your existence

Deep from the shadows of this ocean

Dark as the night it portends

Overwhelming as its extension the feelings it spawns

Dreary as its inhabitants, none

Showing both of us, our very own shades

Deep beneath flesh it extends

Tendrils of death, tendrils of darkness

Tendrils of blood, dread, a nightmare

A sea nevertheless, untamable

A sea nevertheless, unfathomable

A sea within this shell, filling emptiness with nothing

A sea of nothing, of no more than shadows and death

From the vast darkness of the abyss it resembles

Born it was from the tears of a thousand suffering souls

From the very blood of innocents

The shadows of hell now inhabit such nothingness

Giving meaning to a meaningless expression of fear

Ocean of darkness, filled with the ever decaying corpses of the damned

Ocean of death, sheathed by the severed heads of The Undying

Ocean of nightmares, shaped by the endless night

Ocean of pain, The Undying to which I belong there are tortured

Flames, Sulfur, whips and maces for cover

Demons tearing apart our flesh for solace

The stripping of our pale skin for meals

The scalding chains that tie us for company

The unforgiving spikes fastening our souls to our rotting carcass

And amongst the darkness, I look up

I see the pale moon smiling at me, mocking at my disgrace

And I see the shadow that was once my own, dancing with her…

Shadow Two.

A poem to you, long lost friend and lover, a poem to you my dear lady bathed in sunset.


The wolf has begun to rot, his flesh tears apart. The wolf lives no more, without the love of his heart.

From deep within: The first... Pain

Pain, I did explain very much of what there is to it in the past post, but there's more... there's always more... we could say for example: what about physical, un-challengeable, overwhelming, down-hitting and over-turning pain? I know it sounds just like plain old pain, but I'm not talking about anything deeper or phylosophic-kind of more interesting things, I'm talking about plain old physical pain, the kind that makes small kids cry, old people sour and commoners all around scared... Why start with pain, I know you ask, why not death or fear, well, simple: I want to talk about plain pain...
I don't care if anyone thinks I'm being emo or anything here, I just write down what I feel... that's way more important than anything else pretty much... but, WHO CARES? Returning:
Pain can drive us crazy, make us impervious to mostly all things but the worst pain, and it can well turn us into measly-shadows of ourselves... it, can  be reassuring too... but mostly, it will turn you into a mere shadow of the spirit you were, seeking for healing in every known place, never finding anything like that... Of course, there are other kinds of pain (emotional, even knowledge pain, so to put it...) which leads me to a simple question, why bother speaking about what most of us actually know better than most?

There is a reason for everything: and the reason to pain is the reassuring comfort we feel when it's gone... We might never have met pleasure had it not been for pain, we might never have met boundaries had it not been by pain, we might never have met soothing had it not been to erase pain...

Then again, Pain is difficult to overcome unless the prize beyond it is really big (from surgical pain to the dreaded sickness that's overcome by plain will and lengthened efforts all-around)... but then again... pain is too long to talk about it in just a post, 'till next time!

And poetry's in too, 'till next time dear lovers of darkness!

Fear, Pain and Death: Beginnings

Fear, Pain and Death... Part 1

What a threesome we have, don't we?

1-Fear: It may seem simple, but fear is beyond plain dislike and repulsion. Contorts our stomachs, makes our hair stand on end, makes us want to run, escape, makes us wish for death, makes us destroy... There's just so much to say about fear, and so little time to understand it all... Fear can make us die, or live: fear death and you love life, fear loneliness and you value friendship, fear darkness and you value light, fear
pain and you'll learn how to avoid it, fear God and you'll love him... So many things to say about fear, so much to learn, so little time...
CRAP... Fear can only make us APPEAR like we love, praise, admire, like or even learn, but IT CANNOT MAKE US REALLY DO THOSE THINGS...
You'll live a lie because you fear: Fear your parents and you'll do whatever they say just so you're cool with them, fear your friends and you'll try to impress them, fear society and you'll be a "model" citizen, fear love and you'll say you are stronger than feelings, fear pain and you'll suffer in your fear, you'll live in nightmares...
So, what's the point? Simple: FEAR is the opposite to HAPPINESS... What do I know about it? What does a death-loving person, a Necrophile, know about love, life and happiness... Just near everything: Because I tried to understand death, I learned that life is nice, that you can actually enjoy life, be happy; Because I tried to see death in a different way, I comprehended that no matter how much you do, no matter how many lies you create, how many faces you fake, death is TRUE, it does not lie, people don't "Half-Die", either you die or don't, but you don't place a foot on both sides; And finally, because I tried to change fear into knowledge, I understood that fearing death is pointless, instead of seeing it as the end, I understood that death is but a step in this endless life, in the endless circle of souls and lives that we all form, either because we're here, or because we're not...
Fear can be pointless to lead a life, but it can make us better if we learn from it, if we use it as a danger ward, without ever crossing the boundaries between fear to live and life to fear... I'll explain further what i mean... By now, I'm just beginning.

2-Pain: Another one, this one's one of the most renowned teachers, helpers and reminders. We learn not to do this because we know it hurts, we understand love because it hurt us, we love our husband/wife because we would be pained to live without them, we live because we hurt, life is pain, pain is life, experience is worth a million words...
Once again: CRAP...
If you hurt, it is NOT because you live, it's because you're stopping your life, either you're doing things in a bad way, you do what you must not, or you live a life that was never meant for you, you stole another person his or her place in the river of souls and now, the things that person can overcome are beyond your abilities, your capacity and your strength... Now I understand that this conception of pain is also CRAP...
Pain is there to remind you that you're not eternal, that you have to live up to yourself, forget about what people will say and start being who you are in truth, instead of suffering because you live a lie, smile because you live and change what makes you lie: You like money but you can't seem to get enough, try doing things a different way, try buying less and saving more, try working somewhere else, try to change the things you do to save money, and most important, try to see why MONEY is so important; People make your life a party, then make your people a party, why not be a little different, why not make things different, why not make people feel different? Costumes are cool, but being what you want to be while you see what others want to be, doing things you enjoy and helping others do their things too, can make things different... Pain is normally seen as CHANGE, but in truth, it is no more and no less than a warning from your soul that you are doing things you shouldn't be doing, or doing things that harm others, or BOTH...
Pain is complex, and I still don't understand why people fear pain so much, I do fear, and I do hurt, I'm human after all, but I don't see the reasons we have to fear pain SO MUCH, like, I don't really understand the panic and that...

3-And that lack of understanding leads us to point 3, Death: Gosh, finally the point i wanted to speak about... As I said before, I am a Necrophile, I like death and so, and even though I don't want to deal with dead people, I like its meaning, I like the mystery that surrounds it and more over, I like the way people avoid mentioning it, speaking about it, thinking about it and more... Death is a crude reality most of us don't want to face, it is a problem, a solution, everything, nothing, we live to die, we die because we live, we die, we live, and we all meet at the end, we come back from death to live forever, we don't come back from death, dead people don't talk, dead people talks, dead, death, die, doom, all those dark thoughts, they show how we see death, how we either embrace it, or repel it, how we fear, or love, suffer, and enjoy death...
As before: CRAP...
Some Philosophers said that death is nothing, and since it is nothing, we can say nothing about it, some said we live to die, some said we die because we need to rest, and so on... I don't think so...
Death seems like a solution to some people's problems, no matter how light, how simple, or how complex, how unbreakable, they seem, death is a solution to them all... To others, it just poses more problems, more things to deal with, more pain, or unlikely but possible, less pain, less trouble, less effectiveness and value...
I personally consider that death is a solution after everything else has failed, and that trying to die should be reconsidered as a means of defense, the very last one, of every living being... I might have wished for death, I might have not, that's not the point here, the point here is that no matter how many times we think about death, we analyze it, we interpret it, we write it, we bring it, we will never be able of understanding its whole sense, its power, its weakness and its reason...
Theologists find an answer to that by attributing it to the evil that human beings must suffer before they successfully reach their gods, deities and such... Philosophers consider many positions... I consider it differently, beyond its sense, reason, I try to understand its essence, its composition, why it comes from nothing, leads to nothing and will always be nothing... Death can be beautiful, but it can also be overwhelming and frightening, or painful, slow, swift, and so many other adjectives used to express its seemingly endless depth, its unique complexity, its strength, its reach and its justice...

Fear, Pain and Death... Three sisters bound to being human as flesh to bone... Maybe later I'll explain each separately, maybe I'll never really comprehend their intensity, maybe it's too early for me to understand so much... A couple thousand million years more and I will be ready to understand my sisters...

With love...
Darkness

Pd: Necrophile is used in a different way here, more to express my attraction to death and the emotions it evokes on persons than to express attraction to corpses (though cold things are attractive as long as they're not smelly)... And, I also thought that word had a different meaning, so, sorry if I went wrong...

Wulf... ^^

Letter from my heart

You know, I've been thinking lately, thinking hard I mean, that I made the worst mistake choosing in pain... But my intention is not for comeback (hope I don't disappoint you)...
The reason I write here, on-line, where anyone could read it, is that I want to apologize for hurting you so badly with my heartless critics and my selfish attitude.
And I want to tell you something else: THANKS, thanks for understanding me, for being there even when it hurt, for listening to me when I spoke, even if I hurt you with my harsh words. I also thank you for the most beautiful 6 months of my life, may there be better for both of us, and specially, I thank you because you taught me so much about myself that I doubt anyone else will be as helpful.
I know it's late, I know you might not want to read this, but these words are as sincere as they can be, and as surprising as it seems, I wrote them because you had to know them, because my pride's not worth a quarter of what you're worth, and if before I let it get between me and my goals, I now understand that my goals are my only way to be happy. I love you, I'll always love you, and I will never stop loving you, but now it's time to change, move on and transform this selfish, mean idiot into a smiley, nice idiot...

With love, Henry...

Y así escribí con una rosa azul: Amor perdido…

Vaya que tengo mucho que decir, empezando con el sentimiento de nostalgia, siguiendo con mi recién comprendido error, y culminando con mi urgencia de decirte a ti, AMOR DE MI VIDA, cómo he de amaros hasta que de mis venas no salga sangre…

Deseo iniciar por los inicios… La nostalgia de ser quien era, ser lo que quiero ser amando a quien amo por ser lo que busco… La nostalgia de vivir una verdad cual mentira, y amar mentiras en la realidad… La nostalgia de haber entregado al pasado aquello que tantas veces quisiste evitar… La nostalgia de ser lo que eres y no amar a quien amas por no ser lo que buscas…

Y continuar con lo siguiente… El error, el gravísimo error de no percatarme de mi idiotez, de no ver que el mundo no es blanco, no es negro… El error de no VER que el mundo es mundo, que tiene dos caras que se entremezclan dejando ver las más amplias gamas de amor y odio, de oposiciones, de comparaciones fútiles hechas por una mente limitada en su propia amplitud, que es frecuentada por la incertidumbre de saber lo que no sabes… El error de creer que mi ley estaba bien, que podía fundir el más rígido metal con suavidad, que en mi propia limitante habría de hacer lo que otros no habían hecho, siempre con esperanza, nunca con realidad… El error de no percatarme de que yo mismo me detuve, por ser blanco, por ser negro, por estar hecho de una fusión sin puntos medios, por haber hecho una aleación de sal y azufre, por haber intentado ser rígido como la piedra, sin ver jamás que esta es surcada, moldeada por las lágrimas eternas del seco arroyo de mi corazón…

Y concluir con una revelación… Mi mayor urgencia no es dejar de amaros, es amaros aún más, tanto que pueda dejar de ser inflexible en mi flexibilidad, dejar de ser estricto en mi propio apoyo… La urgencia eterna de volver mis días, volverlos hacia un tiempo pasado, lejano en mi corazón, tan distante que está olvidado… La urgencia de no conocerte añorando hacerlo, la dificultad de arrepentirme estando orgulloso… Y la urgencia de decirte que éste orgullo que hoy me corroe fue el que me hizo amarte, fue el que hizo de éste hombre inútil un ser dual, amando lo que odia, odiándose a sí mismo, aún así amando a quien lo hiere, lo hiere con su idiotez, viendo siempre al horizonte como dos hileras de ensueño se trenzan en nuestras manos, jamás notando que su solución es su problema, jamás permitiendo que su problema hable de su solución…

Así llego a la conclusión, de que mientras no seas quien eres no serás lo que quieres, y que mientras te ame, no seré quien quiero ser, y mientras no sea quien quiero ser, te amaré… Eterno mi duelo, infinito mi conflicto, interminable mi duda, porque de dejar de amarte moriría, y de seguiros amando moriré…

¿Es que acaso fui destinado a sufrir interminablemente por lo que es imposible en su propia posibilidad?

Amor, el miedo del Lobo hoy se comprobó, ¡ABRÁZAME ABUELA! <:(